1. What does a baby computer call his father?
2. Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?
Because they had a connection
3. What do you call a computer superhero?
A Screen Saver
4. The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory.
Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
5. Why did the computer cross the road?
To get a byte to eat
6. Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians?
Because they can’t find the motherboard
7. What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?
8. Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10.
He replied, “I still love Vista, baby”.
9. The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte.
And then everything crashed.
10. Who chases computer criminals?
11. What do you get when you cross a dog and a computer?
A machine that has a bark worse than its byte
12. Why was the computer so angry?
Because it had a chip on its shoulder
13. Why did the computer get glasses?
To improve its websight
14. Where do computers go to dance?
15. Why did the computer sneeze?
It had a virus
16. Why couldn’t the dinosaur play games on the computer?
Because he ate the mouse
17. Why did the computer squeak?
Because someone stepped on its mouse
18. Why was there a bug in the computer?
Because it was looking for a byte to eat
19. What happened when the computer geeks met?
It was love at first site
20. Why did the cat sit on the computer?
To keep an eye on the mouse
21. How are elephants and computers similar?
They both have large memories
22. What type of a computer does a horse like to eat?
23. Why can’t computers play tennis?
They try to surf the net
24. What did the dentist say to the computer?
This won’t hurt a byte
25. What’s a computer geek’s favorite snack?
26. Why did the spider take a laptop to the beach?
So it could surf the web
27. Where do computers keep their money?
In a data bank
28. What is an alien’s favorite place on a computer?
The space bar
29. Why are people afraid of computers?
30. What’s the best way to learn about computers?
Bit by bit
31. What is a robot’s favorite snack?
32. What did the computer do at lunchtime?
Had a byte
33. What did the spider do on the computer?
Made a website
34. Why doesn’t the elephant use the computer?
It was afraid of the mouse
35. How did the computer get out of the house?
He used windows.
36. Where did the software developer go?!
I don’t know, he ransomware!
37. What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?
“Stop it! It hertz so much!”
38. I started a band called 999 megabytes… we still haven’t gotten a gig
39. What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to?
The computer runs.
40. What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human?
41. I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer.
I saw it through my telescope last night.
42. The other day my Computer crashed.
Luckily there were no injuries.
43. Yo mama so stupid, that when she heard about cookies on the internet she ate her computer
44. Why did the computer go to the doctor ?
Because it had a virus
45. Your Momma’s so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.
46. My uncle is a computer genius!
The police even called him a pdf file!!
47. What do you call a crazy computer?
48. Some people are like a software update.
When I see them I think, “Not now.”
49. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?
“I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”