1. What’s The Difference Between A Conductor And God? God Doesn’t Think He’s A Conductor. -Conductors
2. What’s The Difference Between A Viola And An Onion? No One Cries When You Cut Up A Viola. -Violas
3. How Do You Get A Trombonist Off Your Doorstep? Pay Them For The Pizza.-Trombonists
4. What’s The Difference Between A Bassoon And A Trampoline? You Take Your Shoes Off The Jump On A Trampoline.-the Bassoon And The Trampoline
5. What’s The Difference Between A Musician And A Large Pizza? A Pizza Can Feed A Family Of Four.-Musicians
6. What’s The Definition Of Perfect Pitch? When You Throw A Banjo In The Bin And It Lands On An Accordion.-perfect Pitch
7. My Girlfriend Left Me Because Of My Obsession With Linkin Park. But In The End, It Doesn’t Even Matter.
8. Why Did The Pianist Keep Banging His Head Against The Keys? He Was Playing By Ear.
10. What Do A Viola And A Lawsuit Have In Common? Everyone Is Happy When The Case Is Closed.
11. Why Was The Guitar Teacher Arrested? For Fingering A Minor.
12. What Do You Call A Musician With Problems? A Trebled Man.
13. What’s The Difference Between And Orchestra And A Bull? On The Bull, The Horns Are In The Front And The Asshole Is In The Back.
14. What Do You Call A Cow That Can Play A Musical Instrument? A Moo-Sicilian.
15. What Is The Difference Between A Drummer And A Vacuum Cleaner? You Have To Plug One Of Them In Before It Sucks
16. How Did The Turkey Win The Talent Show? With His Drum-Sticks.
17. Which Composer Likes Tea The Most? Chai-Kovsky.
18. How Do You Make A Million Dollars Singing Jazz? Start With Two Million.’
19. Why Do Bagpipe Players Walk While They Play? To Get Away From The Noise.
20. What Is The Musical Part Of A Snake? The Scales.
21. How Are Trumpets Like Pirates? They Both Murder In The High C’S.
22. What Kind Of Music Are Balloons Afraid Of? Pop Music.
23. What’s A Composer’s Favorite Game To Play? Haydn Go Seek.
24. How Many Indie Hipsters Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb? It’s An Obscure Number, You Probably Haven’t Heard It.
25. Why Did The Burglars Decide To Rob A Music Store? For The Lute.
26. What Do Call A Guitar Player Without A Girlfriend? Homeless.
27. What Is The Difference Between A Fish And A Piano? You Can’t Tuna Fish.
28. What Did The Guitarist Do When His Teacher Told Him To Turn His Amplifier On? He Caressed It Softly And Told It That He Loved It.
29. What’s The First Thing A Musician Says At Work? “Would You Like Fries With That?”
30. What Concert Costs 45 Cents? 50 Cent Featuring Nickelback.
31. How Do You Make A Bandstand? Take Away Their Chairs.
32. Why Couldn’t The Athlete Listen To Her Music? Because She Broke The Record.
33. What Do You Call A Beautiful Woman On A Trombonist’s Arm? A Tattoo.
34. Why Did Beethoven Get Rid Of His Chickens? All They Said Was, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”
35. What Do You Call A Pianist Who Throws Trash Every Where? Litterachi.
36. What Do You Call A Gingerbread Man With One Leg Bitten Off? Limp Bizkit.
37. What Do You Call A Singing Laptop? A Dell.
38. Why Can’t Skeletons Play Church Music? Because They Have No Organs.
39. Why Did The Guitarist Get Fired As A Carpenter? He Was Shredding The Floor.
40. Why Was Mozart A Child Prodigy? All His Early Pieces Were In A Sharp Minor.
41. Why Was Mozart A Child Prodigy? All His Early Pieces Were In A Sharp Minor.
42. How Do You Tell The Difference Between A Violinist And A Dog? The Dog Knows When To Stop Scratching.
43. How Many Second Violinists Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb? None. They Can’t Get Up That High.
44. How Do You Keep Your Violin From Being Stolen? Put It In A Viola Case.
45. How Many Conductors Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb? Nobody Knows Because Noone Ever Watches The Conductor!
46. Why Did The Skeleton Want To Join Band? He Wanted A Trom-Bone!
47. Did You Hear About That Music Composer Who Committed Suicide? He Didn’t Even Leave A Note.
48. Why Did The Pianist Keep Banging His Head Against The Keys? He Was Playing By Ear.
49. What Do A Viola And A Law Suit Have In Common? Everyone Is Happy When The Case Is Closed.
50. What Did Jay-z Call His Wife Before They Got Married? Feyonce
Source: Odyssey, CLASSIC FM, THOUGHT CATALOG
