30+Funny And Humorous Customer Service Jokes

1. What’s the best part of Audi’s customer service?

The answer within four rings

 

2. “A smile is a curve that sets things straight.” -Unknown

 

3. “I won’t complain. I just won’t come back.” -Brown & Williamson Tobacco Ad

 

4. “Deep down, we believe that the problem put simply, is THEM. They, of course, believe WE are the problem.” -Unknown

 

5. “Although your customers won’t love you if you give bad service, your competitors will.”

-Kate Zabriskie, Founder Business Training Works

 

6. “The first step in exceeding your customer’s expectations is to know those expectations.”

-Roy H. Williams, Author Wizard of Ads Trilogy

 

7. “Customer: A person who indirectly pays for all your vacations, hobbies, and golf games and gives you the opportunity to better yourself.” -Unknown

 

8. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”

-Thomas Edison, Inventor and Businessman

 

9. “A brand not responding on Twitter is like hanging up the phone on customers. With millions watching.”

-Dave Kerpen, Co-founder of Likeable Media

 

10. “The only thing worse than training employees and losing them is not training them and keeping them.”

-Zig Ziglar, Author and Motivational Speaker

 

11. “Customers are like teeth. Ignore them and they’ll go away.”

-Jerry Flanagan, State Farm Agent

 

12. “All businesses need to be young forever. If your customer base ages with you, you’re Woolworth’s.”

-Jeff Bezos, Founder Amazon

 

13. “I don’t like customer service, because I don’t believe the customer should have to pay and help out too.”

-Jarod Kintz, Author E-mails from a Madman

 

14. “Sales without Customer Service is like stuffing money into a pocket full of holes.”

-David Tooman, Customer Service Professional

 

15. “If you have a job without aggravations, you don’t have a job.”

-Malcolm Forbes, Former Publisher of Forbes Magazine

 

16. “You know your business model is broken when you’re suing your customers.”

-Paul Graham, Venture Capitalist and Co-founder of Y Combinator

 

17. “It’s better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours and you’ll drift in that direction.”

-Warren Buffett, Business Magnate

 

18. “Thank you for calling customer service. If you’re calm and rational, press 1. If you’re a whiner, press 2. If you’re a hot head, press 3.

-Randy Glasberg, Cartoonist

 

19. XM Radio is looking for feedback on Reddit about how to improve customer service

They’re taking Sirius replies only.

 

20. “Have you got any books on customer service?”

Librarian: probably…somewhere…

 

21. What’s customer service’s favorite word?

Unfortunately…

 

22. Most Airlines claim to have claim their customer service is “unbeatable”

Only United can say its is “undefeated”

 

23. Video games never made me angry or want to hurt people.

Working in customer service already did that.

 

24. She told me I was being rude for kink-shaming her…

All I said was, “Karen, stop yelling at the customer service rep.”

 

25. Why didn’t Adam buy Eve the new iPhone?

Because Apple have terrible customer service and their products are really expensive.

 

26. How do you stop a rhinoceros from charging?

Call customer service to dispute the purchase.

 

27. Comcast’s newest commercial really gave me a laugh.

They boasted their fast internet speeds, lower prices, and amazing customer service. Not to mention how they boasted supporting net neutrality.

Are there two companies named Comcast?

 

28. Prostitution:

Taking “customer service” to a whole new level.

 

29. How to win the war on drugs

1) legalize all drugs.

2) require that all drugs be purchased through Comcast customer service.

 

30. How many Comcast customer service agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

Is the lightbulb plugged in sir?

 

31. A Latino gang member has received poor customer service at the railway station, so he vandalised one of the train engines in revenge.

It was a loco motive.

 

32. Interviewer: Why you want to work on Customer Service?

Me: Well, I am very good at apologising for things that are not my fault.

Interviewer: Did you acquire that experience on your previous job?

Me: No, my relationship.

 

33. I bought a dozen bees for a beehive, but when my order arrived, there was thirteen bees in the

box. I called customer service and told them they gave me one bee too many.

The woman on the phone answered:

“Oh, that’s just a freebie”

 

34.“Dealing with people is probably the biggest problem you face, especially if you are in business.

Yes, and that is also true if you are a housewife, architect or engineer.”

-Dale Carnegie, Best Selling Author

 

35. “It never ceases to amaze me that companies spend millions to attract new customers (people they don’t know) and spend next to nothing to keep the ones they’ve got! Seems to me the budgets should be reversed!.”

-Tom Peters, Speaker and Author

 

36. “Customers perceive service in their own unique, idiosyncratic, emotional, irrational, end-of-the-day, and totally human terms. Perception is all there is!”

-Tom Peters, Best-Selling Author

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