40+ Dog Jokes That Will Make You Laugh Like Anything

1. Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings?

It’s hardly ever for them.

 

2. Why are dogs like phones?

Because they have collar IDs!

 

3. What kind of dog likes taking a bath?

a shampoodle!

 

4. Why do dogs run in circles?

Because it’s hard to run in squares!

 

5. What do you call a dog magician?

A labracadabrador.

 

6. What do you get when you cross a sheepdog with a rose?

A collie-flower!

 

7. What type of markets do dogs avoid?

Flea markets!

 

8. What do you get when you cross a racing dog with a bumblebee?

A greyhound buzz!

 

9. What breed of dog does Dracula have?

A Bloodhound!

 

10. Why did the snowman name his dog “Frost”?

Because “Frost” bites!

 

11. Why are dogs like phones?

Because they have collar IDs.

 

12. What dog keeps the best time?

A watch dog!

 

13. What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?

A cockerpoodledoo!

 

14. Why is a tree like a big dog?

They both have a lot of bark!

 

15. Which dog breed absolutely LOVES living in the city?

A New Yorkie!

 

16. What do you get when you cross a dog with a phone?

A golden receiver!

 

17. Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Right where you left him!

 

18. Why aren’t dogs good dancers?

Because they have two left feet!

 

19. What did one flea say to the other?

Should we walk or take a dog?

 

20. Why should you be careful when it rains cats and dogs?

Because you might step in a poodle!

 

21. What did the waiter say to the dog when he brought out her food?

Bone appetit!

 

22. Why was the dog sweating so much?

She was a hot dog!

 

23. How are a dog and a marine biologist alike?

One wags a tail and the other tags a whale!

 

24. Why can’t dogs work the DVD remote?

Because they always hit the paws button!

 

25. What do you call a great dog detective?

Sherlock Bones!

 

26. How do fleas travel from place to place?

By itch-hiking!

 

27. Which dog breed does Dracula love the most?

Blood hounds!

 

28. What’s a dog’s favorite dessert?

Pupcakes!

 

29. What kinds of stores do dogs love the most?

Re-tail stores!

 

30. What’s a dog’s favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni pizza!

 

31. Which dog breed chases anything that’s red?

A bull dog!

 

32. What’s a dog’s favorite instrument?

A trombone!

 

33. What did the hungry Dalmatian say after his meal?

“That hit the spots!”

 

34. What type of market should you NEVER take your dog?

A flea market!

 

35. What do you call it when a cat wins a dog show?

A CAT-tastrophy!

 

36. What do you call a dog that’s been out in the cold?

A pupsicle!

 

37. What do you do if a dog chews your dictionary?

Take the words right out of his mouth!

 

38. Which breed of dog is the quietest?

A hush puppy!

 

39. Which dog breed just LOVES bubble baths?

A shampoodle!

 

40. What did the dog say to the flea?

Quit bugging me!

 

41. What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast food?

Pooched eggs!

 

42. Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor?

He kept seeing spots!

 

43. What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?

Her pet-degree!

 

44. Think these jokes are funny?

Check out this video of a talking Husky that will have you keeling over with giggles.

 

45. “We’re eating dinner soon.Don’t fill up on homework.” -Dog mom