50 Dumb And Funny Jokes For All The Adults

50 Dumb And Funny Jokes For All The Adults

1. The Fake Noodle

What do you call a fake noodle?

An im-pasta.

 

2. When does a joke turn into a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent.

 

3. My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

 

4. The Problem With Atoms

Why can’t you trust atoms?

They make up everything.

 

5. Can one bird make a pun?

No, but toucan.

 

6. Why did the town chase out the dead drifter?

Because he was a deadbeat.

 

7. The Bottom of the Sea

What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

 

8. When is a door not a door?

When it’s ajar.

 

9. What is a dead man’s favorite magazine?

Life

 

10. The Driving Dino

What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car?

Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.

 

11. Why wasn’t the letter delivered?

It was stationery.

 

12. Why was the dead man happy to be sentenced during his trial?

Because they gave him life.

 

13. The Shy Farts

What do you call a guy who never farts in public?

A private tutor.

 

14. Why did the traffic light turn red?

It had to change in the middle of the street.

 

15. Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold?

It’s always 90 degrees.

 

16. How do you make a pirate furious?

Take away the p.

 

17. The Virtues of Switzerland

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

 

18. How can you tell when a bike is thinking?

Their wheels are turning.

 

19. Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.

 

20. How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Need to know ASAP.

 

21. A Match Made in Heaven

Who did the zombie take to the dance?

His ghoul-friend

 

22. What events do spiders love to attend?

Webbings.

 

23. What do you mean, I didn’t win?

I ate more wet T-shirts than anyone else.

 

24. Tiny Beaches

What washes up on really small beaches?

Micro-waves.

 

25. Cold Vampires

What can you catch from a vampire in winter-time?

Frost-bite!

 

26. Ghost Beverages

What do ghosts like to drink the most?

Ghoul-ade!

 

27. Rich Elves

What do you call a rich elf?

Welfy.

 

28. The Astronaut’s Baby

How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?

You rocket!

 

29. Tooth Time

What time is it when you have to go to the dentist?

Tooth hurty!

 

30. Smarter Than a Parrot

What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee.

 

31. Octopus Laughs

How do you make an octopus laugh?

With ten-tickles.

 

32. Clashing Colors

What happened when the blue ship and the red ship collided at sea?

Their crews were marooned.

 

33. Broken Boomerangs

What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?

A stick.

 

34. Giant Talk

How do you talk to giants?

Use big words!

 

35. Artichoke Fatality

How do you make an artichoke?

You strangle it.

 

36. The Bashful Tomato

Why did the tomato blush?

Because it saw the salad dressing.

 

37. The Scared Skeleton

Why was the skeleton afraid of the storm?

He didn’t have any guts.

 

38. Writing Hands

Which hand is better to write with?

Neither, it’s better to write with a pen.

 

39. The Sad Math Book

Why did the math book look so sad?

Because of all its problems.

 

40. The Cool ’Shrooms

Why do mushrooms get invited to all the parties?

Because they’re such fungis!

 

41. Plate Whisperer

What did one plate whisper to the other plate?

Dinner is on me.

 

42. The Holy Water

How do you make holy water?

Boil the hell out of it.

 

43. Sized Right

What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A palm tree!

 

44. Why did the kid throw a stick of butter out the window?

To see butter-fly.

 

45. What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?

Oops!

 

46. Where did the computer go dancing?

The Disc-o.

 

47. What street do ghosts haunt?

Dead ends.

 

48. What do you give a sick lemon?

A Lemon-aid.

 

49. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?

An irrelephant.

 

50. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

“Robin, get in the car”.

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