100 Funny Christmas Card Puns For The Holidays
1. Have Your Elf A Merry Little Christmas.
2. I Love When Candy Canes Are In Mint Condition.
3. If You’re Lucky This Christmas, Santa Claus Will Grace You With His Presents.
4. The Christmas Alphabet Has Noel
5. Oh, Deer! Christmas Is Here!
6. Let’s Take An Elfie.
7. Resting Grinch Face
8. It’s The Most Wonderful Time For A Beer.
9. Sleigh Queen, Sleigh.
10. Your Presents Is Requested.
11. Hold On For Deer Life.
12. Don’t Be Elfish.
13. Why Did The Elf Push His Bed Into The Fireplace? He Wanted To Sleep Like A Log.
14. Eat, Drink, And Be Tacky.
15. We Have Great Chemis-Tree.
16. Sweaters Are Just Blankets You Can Wear At Work
17. Birch, Please.
18. Time To Spruce Things Up.
19. Christmas Has Me Feeling Extra Santa-Mental.
20. How Do The Elves Clean Santa’s Sleigh On The Day After Christmas? They Use Santa-Tizer!
21. Remember: Don’t Eat The Yellow Snow
22. Here Comes Santa Claws, Here Comes Santa Claws…
23. Catty Canes.
24. Don We Now Our Ugly Sweaters.
25. When In Doubt, Wear An Ugly Sweater.
26. It Takes One To Snow One.
27. Elves Are Always Defending The Shape Of Their Ears. They Make Some Good Points.
28. Did You Know That Father Christmas Has A Daughter? Her Name Is Mary Christmas.
29. Make It Rein
30. Feliz Navi-Dog
31. I’m Claus-Trophobic.
32. I’ll Never Fir-Get.
33. I Only Have Ice For You.
34. It’s Ice To Meet You.
35. Snow On And Snow Forth.
36. This Is Snow Laughing Matter!
37. Do You Know Your Elfabet?
38. Happy Howlidays
39. Deck The Halls With Bows On Collies.
40. Merry Christmouse.
41. He Came, He Thawed, He Conquered
42. The North Pole Doesn’t Import Goods Because It’s Elf Sufficient.
43. Did You Hear The Forecast For Christmas Eve? They’re Calling For Rain, Dear!
44. What Do You Call An Elf That Runs Away From Santa’s Workshop? A Rebel Without A Claus.
45. Santa Owes A Lot To His Little Helpers. You Might Say He’s An Elf-Made Man.
46. Believe In Your Elf.
47. Snow On And Snow Forth.
48. Dachshund Through The Snow.
49. What Do You Call People Who Are Afraid Of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
50. Look Out For Santa Paws!
51. Remember Not To Leave A Fire Burning In Your Fireplace This Christmas Eve, Or Else You Might Wake Up To A Crisp Kringle.
52. Why Does Santa Claus Go Down The Chimney On Christmas Eve? Because It Soots Him.
53. Make It Rein.
54. Ome People Love Eggnog, While Others Find It’s Not All It’s Cracked Up To Be.
55. It’s The Most Wine-Derful Time Of The Year.
56. She Has High Elf-Esteem
57. Shake It Like A Pole-Oriod Picture.
58. But Wait—There’s Myrrh
59. The Snuggle Is Real
60. All The Jingle Ladies, All The Jingle Ladies
61. Love At Frost Sight!
62. Rebel Without A Claus.
63. That Look Soots You
64. A Round Of Santa-Plause.
65. I’m Feelin’ Pine.
66. Fir Sure.
67. Why did the elf hoard all the Christmas presents?
He was elfish.
68. I Told You Snow.
69. You Snow The Drill
70. I’m Snow Bored.
71. All I Want For Christmas Is Ewe.
72. That Look Soots You.
73. Why Can’t Vampires Bite Snowmen?
They’ll Get Frostbite.
74. What Did Adam Say On The Very First Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve.
75. What Did Santa Say To Mrs. Claus When He Saw Their Christmas Tree?
It looks okay, but you could Spruce it up a bit.
76. What Was Santa’s Favorite Subject In School?
Chemistree.
77. What Does Rudolph Do When Santa Drives Too Fast?
Hold on for deer life.
78. What Did Santa And Mrs. Clause Name Their Daughter?
Mary Christmas.
79. What Did Santa Say When Someone Inquired If One Of His Workshops Was Available To Rent?
For lease, Navidad!
80. What Kind Of Linens To Gingerbread Men Put On Their Beds?
Cookie sheets.
81. What Is Snoop Dog’s Favorite Part Of The Holiday Season?
The rapping paper.
82. What Kind Of Music Do Elves Love The Most?
Wrap.
83. What Nationality Is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
84. Did You Hear About The Christmas Tree Who Could Play Guitar?
His name was Spruce Springsteen.
85. What Would You Get If You Ate All The Christmas Tree Decorations?
Tinselitis.
86. What Does Santa Use To Keep From Getting Sick??
Santa-tizer.
87. What Do Snowmen Eat For Breakfast?
Ice crispies.
88. What Is Rudolph’s Occupation During The Summer?
Pole dancer.
89. How Does Ebenezer Scrooge Get Drunk?
On Christmas spirits.
90. Why Was The Candy Cane So Expensive?
It was in mint condition.
91. Why Does Everyone Love Frosty The Snowman?
He’s cool.
92. What’s The Difference Between A Snowman And A Snowwoman?
Snowballs.
93. Why Do People Assume Sheep Hate Christmas?
They always say “bah humbug.”
94. What Do You Call Santa When He Accidentally Falls In A Fireplace?
Krisp Kringle.
95. What Is Santa’s Favorite Kind Of Candy?
Jolly ranchers.
96. Why Is Santa’s Favorite Way To Deliver Christmas Presents Through The Chimney?
It Soots Him.
97. Why Does Rudolph The Reindeer Constantly Interrupt People?
He’s Rude-olph.
98. Where Does Santa Stay When He’s Traveling?
A ho-tel.
99. What Did The Doctor Say When He Checked In On Jesus In The Manger?
He’s in stable condition.
100. How Does Darth Vader Know What Everyone Is Getting For Christmas?
He’s felt their presents.
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