50 Hilarious Bird Puns That Will Have You Quacking Up

1. If there’s 4 birds sitting on a fence and you get a gun and shoot one, how many are left? NoneThe rest fly away.

Bird Puns

 

2. What do you call a crate of ducks? A box of quackers.

 

3. What birds are found in Portugal? Portu-geese

 

4. What language do geese speak? Porchageese.

 

5. What kind of bird doesn’t need a comb? A bald eagle.

Bird Name Puns

 

6. What does duck eat with his soup? Quackers.

 

7. What did one egg say to the other egg? Let’s get crackin’

 

8. Why couldn’t anyone see the bird? Because it was in da skies!

 

9. Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole? He wanted to make a long-distance caw.

 

10. What did the baby owl’s parents say when he wanted to go to a party? You re not owld enough

Funny Bird Puns

 

11. How did the bird break into the house? With a crow bar

 

12. What do you give a sick bird? A Tweetment

 

13. What kind of bird can carry the most weight? The crane.

 

14. What bird is with you at every meal? A swallow

 

15. What do you call a bird in the winter? Brrr-d

Bird Puns Names

 

16. What do you get when you cross a bird with a comedian? Jay Leno.

 

17. Why did Mozart sell his chickens? Because they kept saying “bach bach”!

 

18. Which birds steal soap from the bath? Robber ducks!

 

19. What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetmentIf you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

 

20. What do you call a chicken in the 1960’s? A funky chicken.

Celebrity Bird Name Puns

 

21. What is a parrot’s favorite game? Hide and Speak!

 

22. What birds spend all their time on their knees? Birds of prey

 

23. What do you get if you cross a centipede and a parrot? A walkie-talkie

 

24. What’s another name for a clever duck? A wise quacker!

 

25. What do Scottish owls sing? Owld Lang Syne

Bird Related Puns

 

26. Did you hear the story about the peacock? Yes, it’s a beautiful tale.

 

27. How did the bird break into the house? With a crowbar.

 

28. Why couldn’t anyone see the bird? Because it was in da skies (disguise)

 

29. What’s smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee

 

30. Why did the bird go to the gift shop? Because he wanted a tweet (treat)

 

31. How do chickens get strong? Egg-cersize.

 

32. What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish? Tweetie Pie!

 

33. What figure describes a lost parrot? A polygon

 

34. Why did the little bird get in trouble at school? Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

 

35. Why did the parrot wear a raincoat? Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated

Bird Puns

 

 

36. Where do birds invest their money? In the stork market!

 

37. Where does bird royalty live? Duckingham Palace.

 

38. What is even smarter than a talking bird? A spelling bee

 

39. What kind of bird runs the church? A cardinal!

 

40. Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he had a very big bill.

Bird Puns

 

41. What do you call a woodpecker with no beak? A headbanger

 

42. What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird!

 

43. What soap do birds use? Dove.

 

44. What bird movie won an Oscar? Lord of the Wings.

 

45. What do you call a parrot that doesn’t eat? A polynomeal (polynomial)

Bird Puns

 

46. What is the difference between a fly and a bird? A bird can fly but a fly can’t bird

 

47. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

 

48. How do you get a parrot to talk properly? Send him to polytechnic.

 

49. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bay gulls!

 

50. What’s noisier than a whooping crane? A trumpeting swan

Bird Puns

 

51. What profession did the parrot get into when it swallowed the clock? Politics

 

52. Why was the sparrow in the library? It was looking for bookworms.

 

53. What do you call a sick eagle? Illegal

 

54. How did the egg cross the road? It scrambled across

 

55. What kind of birds do you have to keep locked up? Jailbirds

Bird Puns

 

56. How do crows stick together in a flock? Velcrow

 

57. What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide-and-seek? Fowl play!

 

58. What do you call a bird that kicks your butt? Steven Seagull.

 

59. What is green and pecks on trees? Woody the Wood Pickle.

 

60. When should you buy a bird? When it’s going cheep!

Funny Bird Puns

 

61. When does a teacher carry birdseed? When there is a parrot-teacher conference

 

62. What robs you while you’re in the bathtub? A robber ducky.

 

63. What’s a parrot’s favorite game? Monopoly

 

64. What do you call a sad bird? A bluebird!

 

65. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a pig? A bird that hogs the conversation

Funny Bird Puns

 

66. What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird? Cherpies.

 

67. Why do hummingbirds hum? Because they don’t know the words.

 

68. Which side of a parrot has the prettiest feathers? The outside

 

69. What kind of bird works at a construction site? The crane

 

70. What bird is helpful at dinner? A swallow!

Funny Bird Puns

 

71. What kind of birds do you usually find locked up? Jail-birds!

 

72. How many cans does it take to make a bird? Two cans.

 

73. How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely? With its sparrowchute.

 

74. Why does the bird bring toilet paper to the party? Because he is a party pooper

 

75. What do you call a parrot that flew away? A polygon.

Funny Bird Puns


Source: LaughitloudTHOUGHT CATALOG

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