65 Puns So Bad They’re Actually Funny

1. I Owe A Lot To The Sidewalks. They’ve Been Keeping Me Off The Streets For Years.

 

2. Why Didn’t The Cat Go To The Vet? He Was Feline Fine!

 

3. You’re Becoming A Vegetarian? I Think That’s A Big Missed Steak.

 

4. You Really Shouldn’t Be Intimidated By Advanced Math…It’s Easy As PI!

 

5. I Spent Days Making A Wooden Car With Wooden Wheels. It Just Wooden Work.

 

6. Somebody Stole All My Lamps….And I Couldn’t Be More De-lighted!

 

7. Once I Tried To Catch Some Fog. I Mist.

 

8. Why Was The Cookie Sad? Because His Mom Was A Wafer Long!

 

9. Thank You, My Arms, For Always Being There By My Side.

 

10. I Was Wondering Why The Frisbee Was Getting Bigger, Then It Hit Me.

 

11. I’m Glad I Know Sign Language. It Can Come In Pretty Handy!

 

12. I’ve Started Sleeping In Our Fireplace. Now I Sleep Like A Log!

 

13. Aim For The Stars! But First Take Care Of The Bodyguards.

 

14. I Accidentally Drank A Little Food Colouring Last Night. I Ended Up Dying Inside.

 

15. What Did Syrup To The Waffle? I Love You A Waffle Lot!

 

16. I Have Many Jokes About Unemployed People, Sadly None Of Them Work.

 

17. Did You Hear About The Kidnapping At School? It’s Okay. He Woke Up!

 

18. Have You Heard About The Italian Cook With An Incurable Disease? He Pastaway.

 

19. What Do You Call The Wife Of A Hippie? A Mississippi!

 

20. What Did The Sushi Say To The Bee? Wasabee!

 

21. If I’m The Night Guard At The Samsung Store, Does That Make Me A… Guardian Of The Galaxy?

 

22. I Saw An Ad For Burial Plots, And I Thought… “That’s The Last Thing I Need!”

 

23. Sure, I Drink Brake Fluid. But I Can Stop Anytime!

 

24. What Is A Typical Diet Of A Sea Monster? Fish And Ships.

 

25. I Asked A Frenchman If He Played Video Games. He Said Wii!

 

26. How Do You Make A Good Egg-Roll? You Push It Down A Hill!

 

27. I Got Hit In The Head With A Can Of Soda Yesterday. Luckily For Me, It Was A Soft Drink.

 

28. I’m Reading A Book About Anti-Gravity. It’s Impossible To Put Down!

 

29. Shouldn’t Pregnant Women Be Called Body Builders?

 

30. Three Conspiracy Theorists Walk Into A Bar…You Can’t Tell Me That’s Just A Coincidence!

 

31. One Eye Winks At The Other, You Know, Between You And Me, There’s Something Smelling.

 

32. What Should You Call An Average Potato? A Commen-Tator!

 

33. Who Is The Penguin’s Favorite Aunt? Aunt-Arctica!

 

34. There Was A Guy Who Got His Entire Left Side Cut Off. Don’t Worry, He Is All Right Now.

 

35. Two Egotists Started A Fight. It Was An I For An I!

 

36. What Did The Hamburger Name It’s Baby? Patty!

 

37. What Did The Duck Say When She Purchased New Lipstick? Put It On My Bill!

 

38. I Became A Vegetarian. Huge Missed-Steak!

 

39. I Used To Go Fishing With Skrillex. But He Kept Dropping The Bass!

 

40. Cactus Puns Are Simply Succulent.

 

41. A Mexican Was Doing A Magic Trick He Said “Uno, Dos,” Then Disappeared Without A Trace

 

42. I Once Met A Pig That Did Karate…We Called Him Pork Chop!

 

43. Care To Seduce A Large Woman? Piece Of Cake.

 

44. Every Soccer Player’s Favorite Beverage? Penal-Tea!

 

45. I’m Reading A Book About Anti-gravity. It’s Impossible To Put Down!

 

46. How Do You Cut Ancient Rome In Half? With A Pair Of Caesars.

 

47. My Parents Said I Can’t Drink Coffee Anymore. Or Else They’ll Ground Me!

 

48. Jokes About Unemployed People Are Not Funny. They Just Don’t Work.

 

49. Whenever I Undress In The Bathroom… My Shower Gets Turned On!

 

50. My Ex-wife Still Misses Me. But Her Aim Is Steadily Improving.

 

51. What Should A Lawyer Always Wear To A Court? A Good Lawsuit!

 

52. What Do You Do With Chemists When They Die? Barium!

 

53. How Did The Picture End Up In Jail? It Was Framed!

 

54. Looks Tasty. Gimme A Pizza That.

 

55. I Couldn’t Quite Remember How To Throw A Boomerang, But Eventually It Came Back To Me.

 

56. Which Bees Produce Milk? The Boo-Bees!

 

57. I Have A Few Jokes About Unemployed People… But None Of Them Work!

 

58. My Ex-Wife Still Misses Me. But Her Aim Is Starting To Improve!

 

59. The Past, The Present, And The Future Walk Into A Bar. It Was Tense!

 

60. There’s A Movie About Constipation. It Hasn’t Come Out Yet.

 

61. One Lung Said To Another…We Be-lung Together!

 

62. Why Do Mathematicians Tend To Marry Larger Women? Because They Like Curves.

 

63. What Do You Call An Overweight Psychic? A Four-Chin Teller!

 

64. Have You Ever Tried Eating A Clock? It’s Really Time-Consuming, Especially If You Go For Seconds.

 

65. I Once Ate A Watch. It Was Time Consuming.

 

Sources : BEST LIFE, ShortFunny.Com,Worst Jokes Ever

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