These Sex Jokes Are So Dirty And Filthy That They May Actually Reignite Relationship Passion

Sex Jokes

Many studies suggest that both men and women like sex jokes. Women tend to prefer men who make them laugh with their dirty jokes, whereas men tend to prefer women who laugh at their jokes.

Sex jokes can also rekindle the passion and restore love. Read on these filthiest jokes to reignite relationship passion.

1. Doctor: What are you using for contraception?
Me: Hope

 

2. Without women sex would be a pain in the ass.

Couple Sex

 

3. Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.

 

4. 20 years of sex in the dark the wife find out he was using a dildo the wife get angry and says ¨explain the dildo prick¨ the husband says ¨explain the children bitch.

Oral Sex Joke

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5. If a woman sleeps with 10 men she’s a slut, but if a man does it… He’s gay, definitely gay.

 

6. I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them

 

7. In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.

In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.

 

8. The newlyweds are in their honeymoon suite and the groom decides to start asserting himself right away.

He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at his bride.

He says, “Put those on.”

The bride replies, “I can’t wear your trousers.”

He replies, “And don’t forget that! I will always wear the pants in this relationship!”

The bride takes off her underwear and throws them at him and says, “Try those on!”

He replies,”I can’t get into your panties!”

Comes her retort, “And you never bloody will if you don’t change your attitude.”

Sex Jokes

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9. “What’s the difference between ‘Oooh!’ and ‘Aaah!’?

About three inches.”

Orgasm

10. “What’s the difference between a Greyhound terminal and a lobster with boobs? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.”

 

11. “How is a thunderstorm similar to sex? You never know how many inches you will get or how long it will last.”

Flirting Memes

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12. I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, “Don’t get an erection, don’t get an erection”… But she did.

 

13. Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the the sower you can’t even see it.

Guy: No I see your sister’s head

 

14. My town’s population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.

 

15. Tits are like Lego bricks. They’re there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.

Man plays with Tits

16. What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.

 

17. What’s the difference between hooker and a mosquito?

The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

 

18. Why are most firefighters men? Because they like to find hot places and leave them wet.

 

19. I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back till I realized it is a family business.

 

20. My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.

 

21. Which sex position produces the ugliest children?

Go ask your mother.

 

22. “Son, I found a condom in your room.”

“Gee, thanks, Grandpa!”

“Why are you calling me Grandpa?”

“Because I couldn’t find it yesterday.”

 

23. Whenever I have a one night stand I always use protection

A fake name and fake phone number.

One Night Stand

24. What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? – “Honey, I’ll be home in 20 minutes.”

 

25. What is the second hardest thing in the morning?

Getting up.

 

26. My girlfriend is a porn star. – She will kill me if she finds out.

 

27. What does a pizza delivery man and a ginacologist have in common? They can both smell it but they can’t eat it

 

28. What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?

The second nightstand.

 

29. Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.

They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.

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