Things Guys

20 Things Guys Want You To Know That Are Totally Wrong

1. “I hate when a guy is courteous and helpful around the house, and a woman says, ‘Your wife (or girlfriend) has trained you well!’ No — we managed to become decent human beings without a woman’s help, fuck you very much.”



2. “That we don’t need compliments. I hate when I compliment a male friend and another acquaintance overhears and teases me for it. I believe that guys deserve to be complimented sincerely every once in a while, just like everybody else.”



3. “That we love it when women drop hints instead of being blunt. No, that shit’s confusing.”



4. “Masturbation is legitimately just different then sex. Sometimes I just want to have an orgasm and get on with my day.”



5. “Most men have zero issue asking for directions. I don’t like being lost — it’s goddamn annoying.



6. “We actually love attention just as much as women do. And cuddling, too.”



7. “Mansplaining. Whenever someone asks me something, they always assume I’m mansplaining, when I’m really just giving a thorough answer.”



8. “Men aren’t always okay. Most of us are in severe need of emotional support but are deprived of it because if we ask for help we are seen as weak or unattractive.”



9. “That we are emotionless. Sometimes it’s not the right situation to show how we are feeling. But just because I am not showing it doesn’t mean I am not feeling it.”



10. “I’m single, and I have never stared at a mop like it was a plasma death ray, I have never had to rush out to buy dinner because I burned mine — except when I was drunk — and I am capable of taking care of a baby without calling a woman to give me directions.”



11. “The idea that dick size is related to foot size. I have size 13 feet and my dick is pretty average, but my boyfriend has size 8 feet and a 7-inch dick!”

—Danklin The Turtle


12. “The stereotypes in all the commercials that we can’t do laundry, cook, raise kids, or anything without our wives or girlfriends showing us how.”



13. “That men don’t have self-image issues. You only get to hear about body positivity when it’s about women’s bodies.”



14. “I’m getting married in two months, and I can’t tell you how many people have told me that the wedding is all about my fiancé. It’s my big day as well, and letting her choose everything feels sexist and as if I would be setting our relationship up for bias and failure.”



15. “That only creepy men enjoy being around children.”



16. “I hate when people talk about the damn ‘man flu’ or ‘man cold.’ I’m sick and feel bad, and you saying this incredibly sexist shit isn’t helping.”



17. “I hate when I’m out with my kids and people jokingly ask, ‘Are you on daddy duty?’ I’ve never heard someone ask a mom if she’s on mommy duty.”



18. “That if we take a long time in the bathroom, we’re jacking off. Sometimes we’re just enjoying a long shower or browsing memes.”



19. “That all men cheat. I know just as many women who cheat.”



20. “I was cheated on once, and I tried googling statistics to prove that more men cheat than women, but I found that it’s about equal. Turns out, some people are just assholes, regardless of gender.”



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